A Mother’s Story
By: An Adoptive Mother
I didn’t have the privilege of meeting Nate’s birthmother. How brave she was to see in the ultrasound her maturing baby with his exposed spine and abnormally swelling head yet chose to give him life! Without knowledge of his future or means to provide for him, she took a chance that a family would love him. All mothers regardless of age or social background have a keen love and heightened sense of protection for the child that needs her most. I believe she touched her swelling belly with an extra tenderness. Laid awake at night praying for him, and wonders today what has become of him?
Have the doctors’ predictions been right? No speech, unable to walk, terribly delayed cognitively? Well, yes and no. Nate doesn't walk and in fact has no bodily control from the middle of his chest down. He is delayed but receives therapy to give him a boost with the skills he needs. Does he talk? Constantly! He tells all who will hear how God has healed him and how God is going to heal him in the future. He tells of the mansion that is prepared for him in heaven, the new body he will have (with no surgeries, he emphasizes), and how he will run on the streets of gold. He loves to play, hates school and is the Atlanta Braves number one fan.
I am the mother of five and love each of my children tremendously. However, like all mothers, young and old, rich or poor, birth or adoptive, a secret swelling of my heart occurs when I hear the child who wasn't supposed to talk, who indeed needs me the most, get into an ordinary, average argument with his bothers over a changed channel on the television. We foolishly thought we were helping a child have the life he was meant to have when in fact, he is the one who has shown us what life is meant to be.
Things I have learned from adopting a special needs child:
1) Flexibility- our day can begin with preparations for a family gathering and end with an emergency room visit (always on weekends and most major holidays). Yes, we were in the hospital at Christmas but SO thankful that we made it to another Christmas.
2) Commitment- when things get difficult we “circle our wagons” not run for the door.
3) The preciousness of a “first”. All the important “firsts” in Nate’s life are magnified by 1,000 times. We recently had to get rid of a mildewed “first wheelchair”. I was so upset; it was like having to throw out my daughter’s first pair of Mary Janes. I wanted to have the wheelchair bronzed!
4) We aren’t as normal as we think we are. In fact, I prefer the term average. Looking at the extraordinary lives of these special needs kids, I am more and more convinced our abilities are simply average. In a household of 6 average people and one special needs child who do you think is the one who can run the VCR/DVD combo? That’s right, the one the world sees as less capable.
5) How to trust the Lord. God has shown us time and time again His faithfulness and mercy. I will never tire of telling people everything God has done for Nate. God’s goodness is immeasurable.