By Iris M. Archer

 

Do you remember the TV program, Life Goes On, a few years back? This was a program about a family who had three children, an older daughter in college, a daughter in high school and a son who had Down Syndrome.   This was the first time a family portrayed in a regular TV program had as one of its lead characters, a person with Down Syndrome. The young man’s name was Corky and his abilities as evidenced by his performance on the show exceeded anything I ever knew about this particular mental challenge. Part of the emphasis of the show was to normalize Corky and his behavior as much as possible. It succeeded in helping the public to understand that life does indeed go on, amid the challenges and curves that families often face.

 

I am writing about this because from time to time Covenant Care is faced with the possibility of placing a child with a mental or physical challenge. I often have birth mothers who ask if we will her make an adoption plan if something is wrong with her baby. Unequivocally, we say yes! We do this because CCS believes life is sacred and that each child deserves to be in the best loving, Christian family available. This is our reason for being, to honor life and as requested find strong Christian families for the children the Lord brings our way! Finding special needs parents, does however, present a variety of concerns, but I have found that God calls families with a unique capability to accept others regardless of limitations. Obviously this is something the general public has more difficulty with.

 

If we are honest as we contemplate life for those who do not fit the definition ‘of within normal limits,’ we know that this subject makes us slightly uncomfortable. Our culture has to work hard to make the life experiences for those who have mental or physical challenges as equitable as possible. In some situations life seems to have dealt such an unjust blow to so many individuals who struggle for every minor accomplishment. I think this is the primary reason many of us are distressed about this subject. We simply do not know how to make life fair for those with challenges and so often times we really do not feel equipped in knowing what to do or say when confronted with a situation.

 

Erma Bombeck once said that ‘normal is just a setting on the dryer.’ What an extremely profound statement! Maybe if we (all of us who fall in the normal dryer setting) could understand that we all have disabilities in varying degrees, and no one is exempt from having, as Paul said in II Corinthians 12:7, a thorn in the flesh. Everyone, even the brightest and most talented individuals, struggle for competency in at least one area or another. If we could actually grasp the depth our deficiencies perhaps we would not be so quick to overlook those who are not in the mainstream of acceptable mental and physical behavior. 

 

Included in the Home Assessment Process for our adoptive families is an opportunity for them to look closely at the types of mental, emotional or physical challenges they might consider as part of their adoptive child’s background. In having to complete this form more and more families begin to open their hearts and their eyes to the needs of children.

 

Because many of our birth mothers request a meeting with the adoptive families prior to delivery, a strong relationship often ensues. I remember one adoptive family that had so bonded with the birth mother and the child she was carrying, said if the child was born with a mental or physical challenge, it would not stop them from adopting this child. She said, (and I quote), This is the baby that God has for us, regardless. If I was pregnant and delivered a special needs child it would be exactly the same thing. This is our baby!

 

It seems unfathomable that a family would actually choose the challenges involved with raising a child with a disability, but in God’s eyes we are all special needs and in need of His redemption. Adoption, especially for those who have special challenges, is one of the best metaphors of God’s redeeming love!