by Janet Newman
Adoptive Mom, CCS Board Member
Six years ago I was sitting in front of the computer planning a journey of a lifetime: an anniversary trip for me and my husband, Alan, back to the Virgin Islands. We spent our honeymoon there and decided it was time to return to the land of sand, perfectly blue water and fancy drinks with umbrellas. It never occurred to me that a new journey, a trip of a lifetime was being born—literally!Alan and I entered into the adoption process with a limited view. We were sad and broken due to the loss of our daughter, Mercy. While we were a “waiting family” I found out I was pregnant. We also lost this daughter. We knew a lot of the right things to say about adoption, but truly all we wanted was to be parents. We wanted the pain and hurt to stop—we wanted to trade the ashes for beauty. In the beginning adoption was not about the beautifully redemptive and transformative things it is now. I don’t think I could see His hand through the tears.
One of the most transformative things for me through John’s adoption has been my view of his birthparents. I am grateful that Covenant Care works and educates people about the bravery and beauty of birthparents. Adoptive parents are celebrated and love is lavished on us. It’s a beautiful response. Birthparents are deserving of the same love and celebration.
Due to our experience, we are fiercely protective of the way birthparents are viewed and talked about. People are often uncomfortable when I say to them that there is no one in this world that loves our son, John, more than his birthmother. I don’t ever want to forget or discount the love of a birthparent. I want people to know and believe that there is love, sorrow and beauty in every adoption story.
I hope that with every letter and picture that we send to John’s birthparents they see joy, laughter and an insanely good looking little boy. We long for them to see and read the depth of love, respect and honor that they hold in our home and hearts. Most importantly, our deepest desire for birthparents is that they are reminded of God’s deep love for them. We pray that they see and experience their own adoption as children of God.Every day in Georgia there are 98 abortions and only 5 adoptions. I cannot change that horrific statistic but I can influence and educate the people in my life about the truths of adoption and the love of birth parents.
I want you to be honest with yourself and with God about this process. I want you to see your role in the ministry of adoption. Most importantly, I want you to know God’s huge role in it. If you are making an adoption plan for your baby, if you are considering adoption for your family, or if you are financially and prayerfully supporting the ministry of Covenant Care, God has a big and specific plan for you. Adoption is not on your radar because it’s your idea—God is stirring and working in you! Begin the journey with the anticipation of seeing how He will transform you.
On Friday John will celebrate his 6th birthday with cupcakes, lots of friends and family, and all things Star Wars. At some point during the day, as I have on each of his birthdays, I will find myself for a moment in a quiet place with tears that are mixed with joy, sadness and thankfulness for the beautifully transformative journey of adoption.
Photos courtesy of Rank Studios